MY TTD FOR THIS YEAR-OR--HOW I'M TRYING TO STAY YOUTHFUL

THINGS I'D LIKE TO WORK ON, TRY, DELETE, ADD, ETC

--RELAX AND ENJOY MY LIFE WITHOUT GETTING MYSELF INTO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

--ALWAYS ALWAYS ENJOY MY HONEYBUN AND MY DEEDEE

--BE DEBT FREE BY JUNE 2010--AND STAY THAT WAY

--SAY SOMETHING NICE OR DON'T OPEN MY MOUTH-MOST TIMES IT DOESN'T HELP

--WALK/JOG A MINIMUM OF 4 DAYS A WEEK

--KEEP BLOG UP AND RUNNING--POST MINIMUM OF 4 POSTINGS WEEKLY

--DON'T BE A CHICKEN SHIT ABOUT WEATHER- GET OUT AND ENJOY LIFE EVERY DAY

--CONTROL MY IMPULSES TO OVEREAT AND TO EAT UNHEALTHY FOODS

--NO PORNO AFTER 10PM

--WEEKDAYS, IN BED BY 11PM

--NO EXCUSES FOR NOT SHOWERING, BRUSHING/FLOSSING TEATS NITELY

--STOP PROCRASTINATING

--START READING AND LISTENING TO MUSIC AGAIN-MAKE QUIET TIME NITELY

--ENJOY MY CO-WORKERS, I'M NOT MARRIED TO THEM

--ITS SILLY, BUT MAKE MY BED DAILY-JUST TO KNOW ITS WITHIN MY POWER

--HOOK UP WITH FRIENDS MORE OFTEN

--KEEP MY HOME IN A CLEAN AND ORGANIZED WAY

--KEEP MY CAR CLEAN AND WASHED

I've been thinking about things that make my life less enjoyable or less fulfilling and the above items seem to be recurring themes. will i manage to accomplish all or even some of the above, that remains to be seen and i shall keep you posted on the progress.

years ago, i would always tell my friends that i made it a point to shower 2-3 times a day and they would ask why. i would tell them that a person who only showers once a day in his youth grows up accustomed to a daily shower and then in his later years goes from one shower a day to maybe one shower every other day and then maybe one shower a week. its this fear of "growing old" that keeps me trying to stay on top of the things i enjoyed doing and makes me take two showers a day so i don't become a ''stinky" old fart in a few years. i notice that its not as easy as it used to be to burn off all the fatty foods i eat. years past, I'd eat a whole Sara lee cheese cake with strawberry filling and wash it down with a quart of ice cold butter milk, devour a large steak or BBQ ribs, mashed taters, soul food, etc and stay so slim i had to put rocks in my pockets to keep the wind from blowing me away. nowadays, people use me as a shield against the wind. OK, so maybe i exaggerate slightly--OK--a lot, but i look at myself in the mirror and i see those fatty deposits around my waist and they look so foreign to me because for 50 years, i didn't have them.

maybe its the midlife crises thing I'm going through or something, but yea, i look backwards and realize that those last ten, fifteen years zipped by like nobodies business. i don' know if others feel kinda unsure about what it is they are supposed to be doing at this age- then again, its been my life to kinda stumble from stage to stage in my life. thankfully, I've managed to come thru pretty much in one piece with a few scars and scratches. i wonder what life would have been like if my family had been less dysfunctional and had been around when i needed some guidance with my sexuality and just life issues in general. its odd that i have no connections to my past, i know no old school mates, best friends growing up, old army chums. i don't see it as somehow bad or missing or sad--i just see it as different. are people with lifelong connections any better off, happier, healthier, wealthier or wise?